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Ok, I’m a big baby, I don’t think I did too bad.. and I was able to do it fairly quickly once I sat my mind to it and stop being awe of Shelley’s writing… So much to my surprise, I’m going to post the damn original and my reworking of the passage:

Original– Mary Shelley Franksenstein Passage from page 90 of the puffin classics version:

My journey was very melancholy. At first I wished to hurry on, for I longed to console and sympathize with my loved and sorrowing friends; but when I drew near my native town, I slackened my progress. I could hardly sustain the multitude of feelings that crowded into my mind. I passed through scenes familiar to my youth but which I had not seen for nearly six years. How altered every thing might be during that time! One sudden and desolating change had taken place; but a thousand little circumstances might have by degrees worked other alterations, which, although they were done more tranquilly, might not be the less decisive. Fear overcame me; I dared not advance, dreading a thousand nameless evils that made me tremble, although I was unable to define them.

My first draft of the redo —

The journey was much of the same old. I ran head strong for the starting point longing the whole way to see the old friends of my home town. I wanted so much to be amongst people I could sympathize with. As I rode through the streets I was reminded of so much of my youth. Painful and happy memories flowed through my bones with every bump in the road. Oh how much these roads have changed, one giant all encompassing change. It could of course have been thousands of other smaller changes that took place in the background, more tranquil but altogether not any less decisive. Suddenly, I was taken aback by fear, I could not advance anymore, the car continued to roll on and I continued to dread the thousands of evils, all nameless and unknown, that made me sick and trembling.