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Read This and Buy Me This Book….

And no… I don’t want the book because I want to serve endangered species at my next dinner party. I want the book because it sounds like fun.

The Smack My Bitch Up Matrix Texas Hold’em Poker Party

This party is to just get a bunch of people together to play poker and to celebrate Ian’s birthday. Don’t worry no one there will know even who Ian is because the Poker is the most important aspect.

To give you guys an idea, this is my error log just from the time I typed that post:

[Fri May 2 01:53:15 2003] [error] [client 68.98.182.114] File does not exist: far2wise/office.jpg
[Fri May 2 01:53:17 2003] [error] [client 63.202.55.231] File does not exist: far2wise/office.jpg
[Fri May 2 01:54:10 2003] [error] [client 129.21.115.9] File does not exist: far2wise/capt.jpg
[Fri May 2 01:54:16 2003] [error] [client 65.30.112.238] File does not exist: far2wise/office.jpg
[Fri May 2 01:54:33 2003] [error] [client 65.30.112.238] File does not exist: far2wise/TigerWoods.jpg
[Fri May 2 01:55:18 2003] [error] [client 68.158.219.61] File does not exist: far2wise/TigerWoods.jpg
[Fri May 2 01:55:41 2003] [error] [client 66.159.221.100] File does not exist: far2wise/office.jpg
[Fri May 2 01:57:16 2003] [error] [client 163.179.182.70] File does not exist: far2wise/TigerWoods.jpg
[Fri May 2 01:58:03 2003] [error] [client 169.237.44.103] File does not exist: far2wise/office.jpg
[Fri May 2 01:58:35 2003] [error] [client 65.31.144.65] File does not exist: far2wise/office.jpg
[Fri May 2 01:58:55 2003] [error] [client 65.31.144.65] File does not exist: far2wise/office.jpg
[Fri May 2 01:59:34 2003] [error] [client 163.11.255.32] File does not exist: far2wise/TigerWoods.jpg
[Fri May 2 01:59:50 2003] [error] [client 163.11.255.32] File does not exist: far2wise/anakin01.jpg
[Fri May 2 01:59:57 2003] [error] [client 163.11.255.32] File does not exist: far2wise/anakin01.jpg

I hereby retire from participating in Fark.com contests officially.

Today I got another 1012 mb of traffic from fark.com and I didn’t even post anything new. For those of you worried, I am still well within my bandwidth allotments.

I did though go through my directory and renamed all fark entries so that farkers will get broken images from now on.

I think what I will probably do is still try to participate in the fark.com photoshop things in spirit. What that means is that if I see one I really like, I will post it to my journal for my friends to view, instead of on fark for the 25k strangers a day to view.

Furthermore, once I get some spare time, I plan on making a retired fark page on www.intoxicatedmonkey.com so that I can archive the time in my life that 25k people a day actually looked at the stuff I did..

May 13th, 2003 – We are going to have a few people for a matrix poker night. It’s Ian’s birthday and were going to “Try” to dress up like characters in the matrix and play Texas Hold Em Poker all night. I’m going to probably say nickel and dime bets with a maximum of three raises per round of betting.

I’m starting to get that sick and despair feeling again. Followed by the tiredness and inability,willingness to do anything. It all pretty much started last night and yes, it has to do with the dog again.

Let me give you a breakdown of the dog’s victim’s this week:

1st: 50 dollar Sony Alarm Clock. Dog was smart enough to unplug the damn thing before it chewed the cord off. Why couldn’t she have chewed it while it was plugged in and solved all my problems?

2nd: A cord on an unplugged lamp. Again, why couldn’t the dog had chewed a plugged in lamp?

3rd: Remember those new glasses I just bought??? The ones I bought not even a month ago because the dog chewed my old pair? The ones that I am having trouble doing my job without them right now because I can barely focus on the monitors small type. Yeah, Those glasses have been chewed.

Don’t get me wrong, I do love the puppy and think she is great. I am just so tired of this shit. I literally can’t handle it and am having a break down over it. I guess where the problem is the fact that the puppies owner is not responsible for the puppy. She doesn’t balance the checkbook so she doesn’t realize that the 200 dollars worth of damage that the dog did this week is going to hurt us when it comes time for Italy 2003 in a couple of weeks.

I guess the solution is to save as much money as possible for the Italy trip, keep track of how much damage the dog has gone, split the italy money between us evenly minus the damage the dog has done and make the wife pay for everything herself. That way when she runs out of money in Italy, she will understand what the dog did and she will be hurt because of it, not me.

Well Gang, I need to decide if I will continue to fark or not. I farked alot yesturday by making quite a few photoshop pictures for their contests but when I check my stats, my account did 1.25 Gigabytes of bandwidth for wednesday alone. What this means is if I continue to fark at that pace, my account will get approximately 60 gigabytes of traffic a month at least. And that’s more traffic than I can afford. I guess the easy sollution is to just fark a little bit. Only post one or two pictures a week instead of 4 a day..